They say starting with “I” is selfish, and self-righteous, and I should always strive to become less. But, You keep telling me I am more. I’m grounded by Truth, unmoved by opinion.
I keep my head low, anyway, away from anyone who’d take notice. Yet, You call out to me each time. Louder and louder.
What they don’t see is that my existence was one of silence, of becoming less, of giving all to whoever asked. I was the rejected and abused child who preferred the corner.
So, their telling me to remain in that corner is not a rebuke, it’s a place of comfort. It’s an old friend the Lord gently called me to leave behind.
I say friend, but the reality is… that was no friend, that was darkness. That was darkness that made me hide, darkness that made me feel unworthy, darkness that took from me, and darkness that left me there feeling alone.
No, I’m not done talking about the darkness or the abuse, but they no longer take precedence in my life. They will, however, surface every now and then.
I am not a victim. I am not a walking pity-party. I am not making this entirely about the sadness, hurt, and pain I’ve been through. I am more than that!
I am more than the bruised cheeks. I am more than the teeth knocked out. I am more than my last names. I am more than the rejection. I am more than what you see and more than what you hate!
Less than I’ve been, less than I’ve been treated, and less than I’ve felt I cannot become. Why? Because the Creator of all has said I am His and in Him I have all.
He took me from that road they tried to leave me on as a child and gently restored me, piece by piece, year after year. Bloody and crying, He healed my wounds.
He didn’t grab me by force, He softly called to me. He walked with me. He cried with me. He held me and told me it was okay to cry to and on Him.
The Comforter comforted me when all others beat me into silence. I was called kind, wise, gentle, blessed, loyal, compassionate, a delight, and beautiful.
Me, called all that by the King of the entire universe!
I ran to Him, but I no longer saw Him. He had vanished. I heard all that and He vanished? I couldn’t understand. Then I heard Him again.
I have always been with you. I made you for Me. I allowed you to see Me, so you would know I walk with you. So you would know I have always walked with you. But, I have been alive, inside of you, all this time. From the very beginning. Before I formed you, I called you. You are unlike the rest. You are The One.